1. The gym (especially an Easy Gym)

2. Your house (this is a Netflix and chill location, not a date location)

3. Nandos (any restaurant where you have to get up to order is not an appropriate date location)

4. Morleys/Chicken cottage/Sams/IKEA’s food court/Subway (see above)

5. A football match (unless you are both *avid* football fans)

6. Your house on match day (see above)

7. Your friend’s free house (just no)

8. Your friend’s music studio (not as impressive as you think)

9. Your place of work (she’ll be like… “why am I here,” and so will your colleagues)

10. Your car (it’s great that you have one, but not a date unfortunately, even if there’s wine)

11. A pub (definitely not a wetherspoons, but a gastro pub might be acceptable depending on the time of day and ratio of drunk to sober people)

12. A park (there are bugs here)

13. Westfield (the reception is so bad that you probably won’t even find each other, and if you want someone to help you pick out clothes, hire a stylist)

14. Your mum’s house (nice to be invited, but it’s not a date)

15. The barbershop (most women don’t even want to walk past these never mind sit in them all afternoon while everyone talks about nastiness and pretends she’s not there)

Do you have other locations to add to the list? Comment below or tweet me: @PhoebeParke