Do I have lipstick on my teeth? Do I have something on my face? Does she hate me? Nah, she’s probably just checking out your dope culottes.

1. She likes your outfit
It’s a well known fact that women dress for other women, we know full well that men hate culottes/harem pants/yellow tights. We don’t care. See: man repeller.

I get so much of my outfit inspiration from women on public transport, it’s like street style without the awkward poses.

2. She thinks you’re someone else
In big cities like London, you are always in with a chance of bumping into someone you know. And 9 times out of 10 you haven’t seen them in years.

The girl staring at you across the carriage probably thinks you’re Hannah Adams who’s parents moved to Dubai in year three. Don’t sweat it.

3. She likes your hair
See number 1.

4. She’s trying to understand you
Do you ever play the game where you see someone and try and guess their backstory? “Ooo she looks like a human rights lawyer on the way to court.” Or “that couple looks like they’re going to work together after an ‘impromptu sleepover’.”

People watching should be an Olympic sport IMO.

5. She’s trying to figure out if you’re with the person next to you
Couple watching is also a really fun tube game (provided there’s no PDA).

Trying to find out if a two people are together or not just from body language can make the morning commute fly by.

6. She’s zoned out
It’s early/late, it probably smells, everyone’s tired, and sometimes a woman will have so much on her mind that she revels in the peace of having 40 minutes sans phone.

She’s just staring into space, not at you.

7. She’s trying to find out what language you’re speaking
In a multicultural city, it’s hard to guess where people are from. If your conversation is in English, she’s probably being nosy, if it’s in another language, she’s trying to see if she still remembers her GCSE modern language.

8. She wants to copy your makeup
Why go onto YouTube when there are people providing tutorials right in front of your eyes?

People staring at me while I’m doing my make up on the tube is one of my pet hates, but I can see the appeal.

9. She’s threatened
Maybe they just don’t like you boo! When all is said and done there will still be women who take an instant dislike to you based on your appearance. Brush it off.