So you’ve secured a first date – the time and place are set, you’ve stalked them online and chosen the perfect outfit (with a little help from your friends).

Now it’s time to get down to business, just make sure you don’t say any of these seriously off-putting lines:

1. “Sorry I’m late, my mum drives soooo slowly.”

2. “I hope you don’t mind if I keep my hat on, I haven’t had my hair done in months.”

3. “Oh this is Danny, I hope you don’t mind me bringing him along, his wife just left him and he’s feeling a little lonely…”

4. “Whoa! You’re ordering all that?! I can only stay for an hour; my friends are having drinks in Soho at 9.”

5. “I’m actually not going to order anything, I’m on a diet, but you go ahead!”

6. To waiter: “I specifically asked for three cubes of ice in my water, I can clearly see four…”

7. “Sorry I have to take this call, it’s my ex.” 

  
8. Drooling: “OMG. Don’t look now but the hottest guy/girl just walked in.”

9. “Quick, take a picture of me with this champagne! Snapchat NEEDS to see this…”

10. “You look *just* like my ex.”

11. “So how’s your Aunt Sandra holding up? I saw on your Facebook that she lost her job in 2011?”

12. “I’ve already told my mum about you, I hope you don’t mind, she asked me to take a picture of us on our first date, you know, for the grandkids…”

13. “Don’t worry about the bill, let’s just get out of here while the waiter’s not looking.”

14. “Do you have any hot friends?”

15. “Do you have a spare oyster card I can use? I’ve lost mine.”

16. “Oh sorry I forgot to mention, I don’t get paid until next week – do you mind getting the bill?”

17. “We’re going back to yours right? I don’t have to be home for another hour.”