1. He doesn’t have his timestamp showing on whatsapp

2. His Instagram is private, and he won’t accept your request

3. His phone is always turned over so you can’t see the screen

4. He hides his phone security code like he’s hiding his credit card pin on Brixton high road

5. You’ve never met a single one of his friends

6. Everyone you have met that knows him calls him by a different name

7. He disappears for extended periods of time (I’m talking more than three days) without an explanation

8. He’s always snapchatting, but never shows who he’s with

9. He’s always dressed to go somewhere, but never has any plans

10. He doesn’t call you by your name

11. Your best friend already told you he’s shady because her discernment is on fleek

12. You guys never make plans or talk about events more than a few days in the future

13. Some days he doesn’t have two pennies to scratch together, and others he’s suggesting restaurants that have five star reviews in the Telegraph

14. When he drops you home he drives off in a different direction each time

15. He doesn’t like hanging out in public, and is uneasy when you’re together outside the house or car

16. He takes his phone into the bathroom with him, even when he’s taking a shower

Disclaimer: all information in this post was gleaned from anecdotal evidence from friends and TV shows.