How much attention do you pay to your whatsapp group chats?
Every now and again, among the memes and screenshots, something powerful is shared (depending on who your friends are…)
In this case it was a video from R C Blakes entitled; The 10 habits of a powerful woman.
In the video Blakes explains that he believes it is his calling to restore the queens back to their thrones, and so he developed this teaching, and recorded two separate periscope sessions on the subject which he later uploaded to YouTube.
First, here’s the definition of a powerful woman:
A powerful woman is a woman who possesses the character, determination and intellect to produce the desired results for her life, regardless of obstacles or circumstances. She lives with undistracted purpose and relentless pursuit of personal vision.
Here’s what the 10 habits of a powerful woman are, and how I went about implementing them.
- Powerful women conquer their emotions.
You know those ratchet TV shows where they have to put subtitles on the screen because everyone is screaming so much? Yeah, I stopped watching them. They glamourise the idea that it’s OK to constantly be mad at person A, crying over person B and popping off every time person C breathes.
Have you ever thought about how other people see you when you act like that? How can they trust you with a large financial investment if you can’t even be mature enough to sit in the same room as someone you’ve fallen out with? I learned that when I’m predictable and balanced with my emotions, I can rely on people to trust me with a predictable and balanced pay check, support and respect.
Would you trust one of these “real housewives” with your money?
- Powerful women are students of the way men think.
How much time have you spent studying the way men think and behave?
I had probably spent about 2.2 seconds studying men, and about a billion hours trying to figure out how they think with my female friends over the years.
I realise now how little sense that makes. So, instead of asking my female friends what they think men think, I started asking male friends, who would tell me the truth (I’m not going to lie and say I liked everything I heard, but at least now I know.)
We study and prepare for everything else we know we’re going to encounter, so why not the opposite sex? Not to play games or tricks, but to fully equip ourselves for the experience. Men are constantly studying women, and always know how to get them to do what they want, we don’t have to be lambs to the slaughter.
- Powerful women value financial independence over diva status.
As much as I love this song (and expensive handbags,) I had to learn that status isn’t everything.
What’s the point of working all week and then spending it all at the weekend? Not having enough money to buy your own house, but your nails are always done?
Some women are waiting for a man to come along so they can buy their houses and start a family — but why not make that coin when you’re single? I learned to stop trying to Keep up with the Kardashians, and start working towards financial independence.
I re-read the description of the Proverbs 31 woman (see Proverbs 31:10-31) and was inspired – even though she was married to a very wealthy man, she still had her own businesses going on and was excelling in her field.
- Powerful women focus on self-actualisation and manifesting their full potential.
It’s *very* easy to get busy with trying to make ourselves attractive to the opposite sex, instead of using the resources God has given us to reach our full potential. As I’ve said before there’s now no excuse not to be chasing your dream job.
Does your morning look like this?
“First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.” – Proverbs 31: 17
I started allocating time to thinking about where I wanted to be in the next few years, what it would look like, and what I needed to do to get there. And this wasn’t in the 5 minutes before I fell asleep, it was first thing in the morning when my mind was fresh.
- Powerful women don’t tolerate insecurity within themselves.
I don’t know when, but at some point it became the norm for women to constantly put themselves down. “Oh I simply can’t leave the house without makeup!” “I’m *just* an assistant manager.” “Oh, this is just something I threw together.”
Do you hear men speak like this? I don’t.
We only do this to make other people feel more comfortable, but I don’t have to tell you that insecurity is incredibly unattractive.
I started questioning why I shrunk in certain situations and worked to conquer those insecure feelings (without coming across as arrogant.)
When another woman succeeds at something and I see it, I made a promise to myself to publicly congratulate her instead of thinking; “she’s not as qualified as me” or “she only got that job because of X.”
Let’s lift each other up, and as DJ Khaled says; win more.
- Powerful women do regular spiritual detox.
This means getting rid of the trash they listen to, the grudges, the past conflicts; as Blakes puts it; “drinking the poison and waiting for somebody else to die.”
I’m a huge fan of setting atmospheres in different situations; playing some gospel music, tidying up the place and reading something inspirational or edifying (so not one of those magazines that circles women’s stomach fat in red.)
I also took a leaf out of some of my male friend’s books and started letting it all go (have you ever noticed how guys can literally be ready to kill each other one minute, and then meeting up to watch football the next?!)
So what if she tried to steal your boyfriend (if someone can steal your man, he’s not yours) or put you down in front of all your friends? You holding a grudge is only wasting your own energy. (Click to tweet this)
“Make sure that no root of bitterness grows up that might cause trouble and pollute many people.” – Hebrews 12:15
- Powerful women dress intentionally.
Now, we’ve all heard about how Christian women should dress modestly, but Blakes takes it a step further and says they should dress *intentionally*
That means dressing to be taken seriously. How many CEOs or MPs do you know that dress like they’ve just stepped out of the club? Not many right?
You might attract some attention, but Blakes says “it’s locking you out of the circles that God intends you to walk in.”
Whenever I plan my outfits for the week I now think; “Your dress code is your billboard. What are you advertising?”
All I’m trying to advertise is my professionalism, trustworthiness and creative flair. How about you?
Blakes also spills some real tea in his video, and it’s similar to something I heard from Heather Lindsey – some of us just don’t put ourselves together enough. We’re not just talking about dressing proactively, but also about dressing sloppily and expecting to be called a queen.
“You can’t wait to be somebody’s wife to dress like somebody’s wife. You have to dress like somebody’s wife to become somebody’s wife,” says Blakes.
Remember men can only see the outward appearance, so what you project is important.
Back in Proverbs 31, the woman described there dressed in fine linen and purple, like the priests did – would a priest wear what you’re wearing right now? How about the Queen of England? How about the person who is currently doing your dream job?
- Powerful women never settle for a weak man.
A powerful woman will never be happy and satisfied with a weak man, because they’re not equally yoked. He will not hold her attention, and that’s dangerous.
Why do we waste our time like this — if we’re being honest, we know weak men when we see them.
Now I take time to figure out whether people I meet are leaders or not, we know full well not to hitch our wagon to a weak donkey.
- Powerful women do not offend in speech.
That means swearing, gossiping, giving everyone a piece of their mind.
Our words are so powerful, I’ve had to learn to use my words to build people up instead of tearing them down.
Blakes goes back to the reality TV shows where everyone speaks their mind and overreacts for ratings – but that’s not real life.
I now ensure that I don’t say every single thing that’s on my mind.
“A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.” – Proverbs 29:11
- Powerful women perfect their relationship with God.
Now isn’t this the truth!
This is the most important relationship in the world – over family, friends, a partner, employer or husband.
I scheduled less time for talking on the phone, and more time for talking to God.
Less time for reading tweets, and more time for reading the word.
Less time for chasing after a relationship, and more time for chasing God.
Blakes ends it with this sentiment: if God was to give us a man before we fall in love with God, we would end up worshiping the man instead of God.
You can watch part 1 and part 2 of R C Blake’s teaching on YouTube.
If you made it to the end of this 1,700 word article, thanks for reading! What an amazing teaching, thank God and many thanks to R C Blakes.
You can now sign up to my email list to receive my free workbook on how to market your content effectively on and offline: http://eepurl.com/b2rdHP
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.” – Proverbs 31: 10 – 11