According to Urban Dictionary, a date is “two people getting together for an activity when the possibility of romance between them has been broached but not ruled out.”

In most cases the purpose of going on a date is to get to know someone, to see if they’re a person you might be interested in spending more time with.

So why would you leave your purse at home?

To answer this question I’d like to draw on some material from Keith Dube’s blog, he wrote a post called: ‘Date or Audition’ in January 2015 that is still very relevant today.

As you can probably tell from the title, he explored the idea that men are auditioning on a first date, and women just turn up and judge them.

“If you are both genuinely feeling each other, why does one have to put in visibly more effort than the other? If she is really feeling the kid, why is she making you backflip through hoops like you’re auditioning for Cirque du Soleil while she is putting in zero effort?

“Just kicking back and sipping Pina Coladas while you’re trekking through an ISIS training camp with an “I love America” tee on to get her approval.”

Some of us don’t want to hear this, but it’s the truth. Who said it’s acceptable for women to turn up with no money, no conversation topics ready, and not even utter a word of thanks?

Here are three reasons why you really shouldn’t turn up to a date empty handed:

1. Basic common sense. 

It costs money to travel, eat and drink, right?

It doesn’t matter how rich you think your date is or how many times he told you he’d pay. What if his card gets declined? Washing dishes to pay off a restaurant bill is not how I want to spend my evening.

 

2. Safety.

If you’re going on a date it means you probably don’t know the guy that well.

What if he turns out to have completely different intentions than you initially thought he had, and you need to quickly exit stage left? Uber rides are not free (unfortunately.)

 

3. Respect.

You have to think whether you’re looking for a sponsor or a partner.

You should *always* be prepared to pay for your half of the meal, that’s just basic manners. In business meeting etiquette if you’re asking for money you pay for the meal, don’t make him feel like he’s at a meeting with a bank manager.

Pro tip: reach down into your bag incredibly slowly as the bill comes, if he’s a real gentleman you won’t get further than unzipping the purse.

Do you go on dates empty handed? Let me know in the comments. 

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“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.” – Corinthians 13:4